i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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