She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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