he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
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Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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