i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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