As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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