It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry about my life...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
