i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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