So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love you. Go after that dick
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
