Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
