I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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