i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
