went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
