4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
