i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
