if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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