I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
