woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no you cant smoke seaweed
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
