hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
