Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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