? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
