it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
