I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
