Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
