Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
