No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
