I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
