What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
