Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
