My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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