So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
