plz talk dirty to me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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