i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
