Don't you send me to vm
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
