I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
