Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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