here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
third nipple confirmed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
