so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
