Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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