Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
