How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
