lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
