Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
smell my finger.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
