I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
