I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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