evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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