need another drink. this is the easiest way
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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