I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
