Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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