I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
