she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
