so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
