Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
