1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
