problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
