is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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