today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
