he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
