Its about making memories worth repressing
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
