WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize