a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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