Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
