he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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