At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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